go do what you do best...puke behind churches
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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