I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
