Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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