Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
