did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think my moral compass just broke
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
