do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
