I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
