The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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