my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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