The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
