pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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