Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
