i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
