I cannot find my penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
