Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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