Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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