what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
