take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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