home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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