THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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