Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
