hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize