I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
