Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
