Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
