You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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