When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
