wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
bring money and cleavage
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Randomize
