the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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