i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
