Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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