Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
