He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
