That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
