See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
