If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
