my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am naked and annoyed.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
