I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm at about main and main street
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
