Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
