So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
