Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
