As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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