This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
