I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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