That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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