their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
