Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
