Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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