He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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