also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
