i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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