what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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