Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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