found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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