My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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