if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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