We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
