she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You may now shotgun with the bride
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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