I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
