My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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