He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
