i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
