I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
