gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize