I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
