Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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