My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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