Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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